Refusal skiLLS
Do you know how to get out of an uncomfortable situation? What would you do if someone handed you a drink, a vape, or a pill? What if someone asked you to do something that felt wrong or unsafe? Whether it's at a party, a friend’s house, or after school, it’s important to have a plan.
The REAL Way to Handle It
Step 1: Refuse
Step 2: Explain
Step 2: Explain
Start with a clear and confident “No.”
Say it in a way that shows you mean it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you don’t want to give one.
“No thanks, I’m not into that.”
“That’s not for me.”
Standing up for yourself in the moment is hard, but remember: you have goals, and your choices today shape your future. Refusing is the first step in staying true to yourself.
Step 2: Explain
Step 2: Explain
Step 2: Explain
Explain why you’re saying no. Be honest or make up a reason. Stay calm and respectful.
"I don't do that stuff."
"I can't, I have practice tomorrow."
"My parents drug test me."
"I don't want to affect my health."
Be assertive! Peer pressure is real, but you don't have to be affected by it.
Step 3: Avoid
Step 2: Explain
Step 3: Avoid
Try to avoid situations where you know substances might be around.
This could mean skipping a party, choosing different friends to hang out with, or staying in public spaces where you feel safer.
Step 4: Leave
Step 2: Explain
Step 3: Avoid
If people are pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, leave. If you drove on your own (unless you had anything to drink or you're inebriated), leave immediately. If you didn't drive, or you can't, use a CODEWORD. A CODEWORD is a secret word or phrase you set up with a parent, sibling, or trusted adult. It tells them you need help - no questions asked right now.
CODEWORD
What is a CODEWORD?
A CODEWORD is a private signal between a teen and their parent(s)/guardian(s) that means they are in an uncomfortable situation and need to leave - no questions asked right now.
Your CODEWORD can be a single word, a phrase, or even an emoji. Something simple like:
- “Banana bread"
- “Green backpack"
- 
For example, if your CODEWORD is "pink pajamas," and you receive a text from your teen reading "Can you bring me my pink pajamas?" that is your cue that something is wrong. Your teen may be exposed to alcohol or drugs, facing peer pressure, or feeling unsafe. When you get that text, there's no need for details in the moment - just pick them up.
Why it works:
Teens are more likely to ask for help if they know they won’t get in trouble. A CODEWORD gives them a safe exit and reassures them that you're always on their side.
What you can do today:
- Sit down with your teen(s) (or teens - sit down with your parents) and create a CODEWORD.
- Let them know it can be used anytime, without judgment.
- Use this as an opportunity to talk about alcohol, drugs, and safety. Let them know that even if they’ve made a risky choice, you still want them to get home safely and encourage them to use their CODEWORD.
- Most importantly: follow through. If they use the CODEWORD, pick them up, no questions asked in that moment.
One word could be the bridge between a risky situation and safety. Start the conversation today.